During the funeral the family brought in mementos of the deceased. They brought things that represented their loved one. There was a baseball mitt, a newspaper, a menu from his favorite restaurant and some other items. I thought it was a nice touch, but didn't realize how much it effected Curtis.
On the way home Curtis asked me what of his I would pick to symbolize his life? (YES! HE DID SAY THIS...HONEST!) I have to admit that he stumped me. I was taken aback for a moment. I immediately pulled the "I'm stalling for time to think" card and said "First you answer." I was even more shocked that he had an instant answer. He told me that he would pick my IPOD because it best represents every side of me. (I know, huh, a wonderful answer). I tried to give him a quick answer and thankfully he got the drift that he had caught me off guard and didn't press for an answer.
Sooooo I'm proud to say that yesterday on my walk I thought of an answer....I saved it for my post for today because today is a pretty hard day for Curtis and I thought it would make this day a bit easier.
Cheesy Christmas decorations.
There were two things that my husband wanted to make very clear when we started dating. One was that he loved his mother, and if I was going to be in his life seriously I needed to be able to "hang" with her (more on that in a bit), and that he loved Christmas. No, he REALLY loves Christmas. He told me that he and his sister Kim (and his niece Haleigh who he told me on our first day of meeting he was going to rebuild a Comet for someday.....) loved to decorate for Christmas. They were famous for (oh forgive me Kim) for putting up these really "neat homemade" (cheesy) decorations all over the house, inside and out. He went on to explain how they even took plastic cups, glued them together, and made giant ornaments out of them (getting the idea?). Needless to say I was smitten with the man. He could have told me he had two extra arms tucked in his shirt and I would have been okay with it.
Now back to his mom. I didn't realize until the first time that I met his mom that he wasn't kidding. For someone to love Curtis you needed to "hang" with his mom. I have to admit that from the first moment I saw her coming to the tiny fishing cabin on Flowing Lake, I fell in love. It could have been that she could not contain her excitement to see Curtis, or the amazing smile that was plastered on her face that could be detected from 500 feet away, or the fact that you could tell that with every fiber of this woman's being she wanted to jump up and down and wave her hands, and run off the dock once the boat pulled in, but it wasn't. It was when they lifted her wheelchair onto the deck and she scooted right over to me and said "I would hug you but I can't", and proceeded to run over my toe.....I'm still choosing to believe that the toe thing was due to the fact that she was maneuvering in a tight space in uncharted territory....right??? I had just met Ramona Pilkenton, and Ramona Pilkenton had no arms and no legs. Now my story could stop there, but it can't. Because to say that Ramona Pilkenton was just a lady without arms or legs would not be good enough. It is shocking enough, and different enough, but simply not enough. It wouldn't relay how smart, how funny, how loyal and how spunky this woman really was. It wouldn't tell you that her three children, and (at the time) three grandchildren were the most important things in her life. It would not tell you that after 12 (next week) years of marriage I'm still hearing "These are good cookies but not quite like hers", from my husband every time I attempt to make a batch of "her" snickerdoodles. And it wouldn't even start to tell you about the pride I felt this year when I filled her punch bowl with mixed nuts and placed it on the "Pilkenton" placemat my husband inherited when she passed.
It wouldn't tell you how hard I grieved to watch her children and grandchildren say goodbye to her seven days before I married her son and was able to call her my mom too. Thankfully she had already established herself as "Grandma Wheelchair" to my children.
Ramona Louise Pilkenton died on 07 February 1999. I love her son, and the fact that he knew I could "hang" with her.
Do I love you? OHMYDOI
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